sweatermuppet:

cowboys be like “nah that feller is just a companion to keep the trail a bit less lonely & a lot less dangerous” & then ride funny in the saddle the next 2 days

(via egberts)

nyaruhodou:

so uh. this is what the author of The Care And Keeping Of You looks like.

(via slimegargoyle)

weaver-z:

weaver-z:

Comments on erotica are so funny because a lot of the people in those sections are trying to compliment the author without directly saying “awesome job, I jacked it to this!”

Help.

(via hippocratessocrates)

wizardpostsdotorg:

[drinks my jarritos like a comically hypermasculine brooding alcoholic character]

(via skajador)

mizutori:

(via morphogenetic)

fumoshino:

cats-and-confusion:

Hey can anyone tell me what the FUCK this behavior means

(via vriska)

tiktokswithoutjumpscares:

(via demilypyro)

literalliterature:

babygirl i can waste time i don’t even have

(via vriska)

letallthetrashraindown:

What is the difference between a cathedral and a physics lab? And they not both saying: Hello?

(via ffx-2-2)

bogleech:

this tiktok was supposed to be about her husband quitting porn but all twitter’s talking about is their baby on the phone

(via hippocratessocrates)

crustaceousfaggot:

Have you ever met someone with the same surname as you (who you aren’t related to)

Yes

Yes, but not in person (celebrity or online)

No

it’s complicated

(via hatingongodot)

sharkgirldick:

sharkgirldick:

Licking his cunt like it’s stamps.

Is that anything?

WAIT.

LICKING HIS CUNT LIKE STAMPS BEFORE I DELIVER MY PACKAGE TO HIS BOX.

(via hatingongodot)

andhumanslovedstories:

Columbo asked this cop if he knew anything about an esoteric subject, and that cop goes “yeah me and my wife—” and Columbo literally cuts him off and goes “yeah fine” and then presses on. Even the whiff of another wifeguy and he gets pissy. Tiny dog that hates other tiny dogs.

(via hatingongodot)

maryonnaise:

boys

(via morphogenetic)